Which Path Will You Take?

Estimated Reading Time: 4 minutes

Let’s say you’re a white woman who identifies as a Christian. You posted something that hurt BIPOC. Many people, Black women in particular, have explained why your action was harmful. There are several possible responses from this point. Which path will you take?

Path 1: Ignore the critique. Continue with business as usual. Let the white women who follow you argue with BIPOC in the comments.

Pros: You remain neutral [in the eyes of white women who aren’t engaged in anti-racism work].

Cons: BIPOC know there is no neutrality. They see through this tactic and conclude you aren’t interested in their equality.

Path 2: Feverishly delete critiques. Remove the entire original post. Then create a new post that shifts the blame for the original post to your social team. Offer a vague apology but evade taking any real responsibility. Say you’ll do better without providing concrete examples of how you plan to do so.   

Pros: Maintain the comfort of your followers [those who are white women and not engaged in anti-racism work].

Cons: By deleting the critiques and entire original post, the contributions of BIPOC are erased. You’ve thrown your social team under the bus. You position yourself above accountability.

Path 3: Leave the original post and all comments from BIPOC. Consult BIPOC in your life about ways to repair the damage done. Financially compensate those who educated you. Address the harm, don’t give any excuses, ask for forgiveness, and share concrete examples of how you will do better.

Pros: The words of L. Glenise Pike, Founder of Where Change Started, are applicable here. In her video, “The Importance of Normalizing Conversations About Race + White Supremacy,” she explained the need to do the self-work of identifying, unpacking, and dismantling the ways in which your behaviors perpetuate the idea of white supremacy and to lead by example in becoming an inspiration for others to do the same self-work. She continued that you miss opportunities to hold yourself accountable and to round out your perspective when these conversations aren’t normalized. One of her tips was to let yourself be human. She explicated that you will make mistakes and must be held accountable; perfectionism allows you to hide behind what you think is a noble reason to not have these conversations and this is just self-preservation. I also see this as an occasion to humble yourself in order to count others as more significant than yourself (Philippians 2:3-4). You also give greater honor to the voices that have historically not been honored and that are currently dismissed (1 Corinthians 12:24b-26). Path 3 allows for all of this and more.

Cons: You risk losing followers [those who are white women and not engaged in anti-racism work].

Which reaction is best? I guess that depends on your perspective and what’s important to you. I think that to most accurately represent Jesus, the third option is the way to go per the pros.

As you may know, Rachel Hollis took path 2. She is the latest in a centuries long line of white women who have been corrected by women of color. As people have pointed out, this is love being displayed. I attended an event where Austin Channing Brown was speaking after the publication of her book I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness. She stated, “If there is someone correcting you, it’s because they still have hope. They think you care to listen and change what you did wrong.” Sit with that for a second.

A platform of any size brings responsibility. A sizeable platform increases your responsibility to steward the chance to repair the damage you’ve done. Don’t be the reason someone loses hope. Listen, take ownership, and change what you did wrong.

Numerous women of color have addressed the Rachel Hollis situation, and I don’t need to rehash what they’ve said. You can go to @ckyourprivilege, @blackwomenplantseeds, and @mskathykhang to read each analysis. Follow these accounts and others, such as @tina_strawn_life, @sincerely.lettie, @wherechangestarted, @lisasharper, @austinchanning, @speakingofracism, @rachel.cargle, and @moemotivate.

Change your inputs if you’re accustomed to only receiving white voices. Read So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo, I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness by Austin Channing Brown, and Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America by Ibram X. Kendi. Listen to podcasts owned and operated by BIPOC. Go through the Be the Bridge (@beabridgebuilder) document "Whiteness 101: Foundational Principles of Every White Bridge Builder Needs to Understand." Cite BIPOC. Compensate BIPOC. Support organizations led by BIPOC. I am not interested in shaming anyone. Though shame can be a powerful motivator, I’ve not seen it produce permanent and life-changing results. However, I do want to be part of the solutions to dismantle all systems of oppression by positioning myself under the leadership of the marginalized.

We’re at a place where the road splits. I want to choose path 3. Which path will you take?

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